"This is going to be the best day of my life"

Waking up on my birthday came with some realizations about my life, how I wanted to live it, what I wanted to do, how I wanted to feel and who I wanted to be. After struggling for few months with anxiety, insecurities, food disorders, doubts and tiredness, I decided it was time for me to move on to a healthier life and relationship with myself, my reflection and society's expectations. I already knew that I will never be younger than right now but I just realized it.

I spent most of my day alone, I cooked cosmetics (I really did), read a lot of self-development books (You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero essentially) and the rest of the time I thought about the life I wanted to make and live. My fierce mind decided and then I knew all the changes and all the habits that I needed to change. I know it won't be an easy pass but I have never been so motivated to get my life back on track.

1. Enjoying an healthier life

If I wanted to have a better mental health, I had to have healthier habits around food and sport. For once in my life, I didn't want to have a diet. I just wanted to eat healthier, meaning stop any junk food and apply all the advices my nutritionist used to tell me. I stopped sulking fruits and fell in love with vegetables again. I even did sport more than twice in a week (which is almost unbelievable if you knew me for a long time).

I also got rid of a lot of things before and after my birthday. I gave and threw away a huge amount of clothes. I also cleaned my teen room and threw an amount of stuff I didn't even guess I had. I think my room at my mom's place has never been so empty and tidy and it feels really good.

I also want to clean all my social media and keep only people I really want to follow and who really inspires me and get rid of negativity and all this kind of things - I came to admit that following almost 800 people on Instagram was not really useful as with their *amazing* algorithm I probably miss 90% of content.

2. Being fearless

I have always given up on my blog and got back at it because I had a lot of doubts and I was always scared of something (what people would think, imperfection, etc.). My insecurities were stopping me from doing what I really wanted and what I loved - writing and sharing all I love with you. No wonder why anxiety and depression came right at me. I realized and learnt that if you stop loving what you do, you don't have anymore fuel to go through your days and you keep having a bad mood which will accentuate your insecurities and anxiety.

3. Loving myself

Which I believe will be the thoughest but most important part of it.I understood that I was also more than just my body and reflection in the mirror, more than a number, a size or bad comments. And that instead of being ashamed of my body, I should take care of it and take care of myself in order to feel better and maybe I will be on the way to love myself more and accept who I am.

I know that I might need a lifetime to truly love me unconditionally but at least, I am on my way.